blurred.

everything's going really fast and things keep getting blurred and i miss the days when i fell asleep on my living room sofa, watching frasier or something equally bad.

also, i need to start wearing my glasses despite how shiny they make my forehead look.

furthermore, i'm starting to realize how easy it is to get pulled into shit!

GOB.

i love arrested development so much.

complaints.

i'm a complainer. i have been since birth. eventually, i'll get up and get shit done but i will still bitch about it. i'm also always inside my head. when carrie bradshaw accused miranda hobbes of doing this, i realized that i might be a miranda hobbes.

every so often, i have really lame revelations. they go like this: "ohmygod, i've realized that i don't want to waste my life! i need to do something! i feel like i'm in a rut!" and nidhi is usually the person on the other line.

ever since i started this new blog, my old xanga has gone moldy and dusty. i feel like this is a fake blog for myself since i only choose to write about light things involving my hatred of the bachelor and how i am constantly shiny headed. while my xanga was old/shriveled/crusty/ancient, it was more real. even though everything i wrote was only about a sentence long, i felt as if it was me, the good/bad/sad/awkward.

so i don't want to be so one sided on this blog anymore. i don't want to only write about things that are light and amusing. so i won't. also, all this self doubt and feelings of inadequacy can kiss my (recently inspired by the movie, Tootsie) ass. i'll write more about this later. maybe.

Being That Girl: The Femi-Bitch Edition

I wake up generally early. Doing so, I turn on the tv at around 10 am and start watching The Doctors due to lack of cable and morning awareness. The premise of the show is to have four doctors from four different specialties who give medical advice via tv. The most outspoken doctor is a hot little thang named Dr. Travis Stork, who is the very epitome of the "I Want to Marry a Doctor" fantasy. Here he is.



However, once Doctor Douche started to speak, all of his doctorsexy went flying out of the proverbial window. He has a strange frat boy twang and usually makes awkward jokes at the expense of poop and ovaries and has smugface! grunt. Worst of all, he portrays himself as an expert on women, relationships and what we're doing wrong.



So Dr. Douche has a book out called "Don't Be That Girl: A Guide to Finding the Confident, Rational Girl Within". In it, he tells women to not expect to see the man you're dating on fridays/saturdays for the first few months. Also, don't expect to be given a drawer at his apartment and don't demand it either. What else? get the ring in 18 months or leave the guy!

Here's where my femibitch kicks in. This guy was on The Bachelor. You know, the show where one guy dates 25 women at once and the women shit themselves for a chance to be given a rose. Dr. Douche stated he went on The Bachelor to find a wife, marry, and have a perfect life. All within the compressed time capsule that is The Bachelor's set in a romantic place with 25 beautiful women all vying to play doctor with him.



How is it that he can make out with multiple women who catfight in the house all day and then claim he's so in love with yet again, multiple women? He was on a show that not only pits women against each other but puts the man in such a position as to have his pick of the litter. Then he goes on to write a book basically telling ladies to not do what was seen on the very show that gave him his initial fame.



In the end, everybody has a sense of what they should and should not do. I can't tell you what will bring a man around and what will repel him like last week's dirty diapers because who am I to say that? But being happy with who you are and where you are is always good advice. Also, even if the men don't come flocking around, shit. At least you're still happy.