LATE! Day 25.

Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.

holden caulfield.

he's fascinating to me. he's immature and ridiculous and probably a huge douchebag who thinks he's really misunderstood. just when you write him off as just an angsty teen, he says something universally true and perfect. he says something off that it's taken in different context by different people and what another person thinks is bullshit might be a personal truth for you.

and he has a red plaid hunting hat and says things like "goddamn phonies". what's not to love?

thanks.

i'm thankful for my life. it wouldn't be anything without my family or friends. especially lately, i've been appreciating all the little things in my day to day life that make it just a little better. these things are probably lame/dumb but i like lists.

1. gatorade.
2. sunflowers. i bought some yesterday.
3. greeting cards.
4. cee-lo songs.
5. excess of ham.

Day 09

- How you hope your future will be like.

i feel like i talk about my future and its possibilities all the time on this blog! hahaha.

1. i want to LOVE my career, even if i'm not making any money at all. i'll just mooch off nidhi reddy for the rest of my days.

2. i hope my love life will be better! cause shit is tragic right now.

3. i hope i get to travel to really ballin places like the galapagos islands where i shall fulfill my childhood dream of riding on a big ass turtle.

4. i hope for my future to still be filled with loved ones.

5. i would say that i hope my life would be happy but that's really my own thing, isn't it? i can do that shit on my own really.

6. this isn't exactly the super distant future but next fall, i hope to be living in my own apartment.

*edit

OOOH AND I WANT A PUG! I WANT A PUG MORE THAN ANYTHINGGGGGG.

i've wanted a pug since like 10th grade when i fell in love with winston the pug! but he got adopted before i could convince my parents he wouldn't poop all over our asian carpet and chew our asian shoes. look at that precious little old man faceeeeee! i think i fell in love with pugs when i found out that they watch tv all the time and have stout legs and breathing problems. just like me.

Day 07

- Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.

i'm a complete astrology junkie. as previously stated, i went to astrology camp when i was a kid and i get daily horoscopes sent to my phone. i was born on a capricorn/aquarius cusp so i'm apparently stuck between two signs.

"capricorn/aquarius cusps are known to be disciplined, patient, loyal, traditional, ambitious, offbeat, progressive, cautious, practical, friendly, realistic, curious, stable, funny, confident, unique, attractive, competitive and multi-talented. They may also be rebellious, narrow-minded, cold, harsh, depressed, stubborn, secretive, aloof and over-critical."

of course i like the positive traits hahaha. the negative traits are surprisingly accurate too. then again, these are very general terms that can be twisted to fit any situation.

movies.

i feel like i only watch like 5 movies over and over again. i should expand my horizons past the point of romantic comedies :/

but who can resist penelope?!

future flavored.

i'm not sure why i keep posting shit today! i guess i have a lot on my mind and none of it really jives into the same blog post.

today, as i headed back to arlington (where i spend most of my waking hours) with my mom to go grocery shopping, she asked me what i'm planning to do after college. granted, i've been asked this question a million times from both parents and with the same exact tone of unease in their voices. this time, it felt different but don't ask me why.

almost a week ago, i got asked the very same question by fur face boy over pluckers. it was kind of like a tablewide "interview" where he asked us about our dreams/goals/etc. as he got closer to me and i said the same thing i've been saying all semester; "anthropology major, minoring in women's studies" and to the same reaction, he asked me if that's what i dreamt of doing when i was a kid. no, i said, i wanted to be a marine biologist. when he asked me why i forgot about this, i said it was because i grew up and out of it.

however, what i meant was that i grew up and experienced it to a degree and didn't love it as much. anyways, i guess the point of this post is more to write to myself and reinforce my beliefs to myself. there's something to learning about different cultures and customs that makes me happy and i can't quite put my finger on it. i feel as if this is the right track for me but sometimes it's hard to put your reason for loving something into words.

i'm just glad i'm finally doing this for me.

little things.

a lot of times, i find myself becoming gradually more negative. so i have to make a conscious effort to remind myself to stop being such a shit. while i definitely do not have everything in the world that i want, i have everything that i need. i feel like making a list so here's one of all the little things that (weirdly) have made my day lately:

-the obvious, my family.

-being able to finally wear cardigans without sweating out half my water weight.

-seeing the sunrise (or something) as i haul ass to school at 7 am.

-this walking windup pumpkin man that i got from the botanical gardens

-jersey shore thursdays.

-realizing that my car has a hook in case i ever decide to buy some truck nuts.

-the saltwater room by owl city.

-pomegranate season! i plan on spending the majority of my paycheck on them.

-new levels of angry birds.

-halloween! my favs holiday!

to self.

lately, i've been thinking seriously about my future and what's going to happen after i finish my undergrad degree. i've been wondering if i'm sure about being an anthropology major.

since my freshman year, i've taken 3 anthropology classes and am working on 3 more this semester. every single teacher in anthro has been so incredibly passionate about their careers and the material they're teaching. it's (sadly) so out of the norm for me to encounter this so it forces me to question my own decisions.

all through high school, i've rarely ever felt excited to learn something new. math, history, english and physics were just so boring to me and really just a chore. it's not because i'm awesome at them, because i am definitely not (esp math), it's just because i felt like i didn't want to sit down and read about them and feel happy about it. don't get me wrong, i had really great teachers in some of those subjects and i do like english. it just seems to have lost a sense of adventure about it, at least to me in high school. then i took art as a higher level. i realized that i love it more than anything i've ever done and that i was actually capable of working hard if it was towards something i love.

anthropology (namely with reference to gender studies) is my new love. i find myself actually wanting to learn and take as many classes as i can. that's something relatively new to me and so what if when i graduate, i will probably be broke as fuck? this is a cliche, but i'd rather be broke as fuck and doing something that i love and am so passionate about than shitting pots of money and miserable and counting down days to vacations i'll never take.

besides, mcdonald's has a value menu and i have a giant piggy bank full of pennies and old chuck e. cheese coins.

ten lbs.

for a few months now, i've been on this "lose ten lbs" bender. however, i can't tear myself away from my love of food long enough to fully commit myself to this.

tomorrow i'm going to fully do this! ten lbs! not to mention toning up. i read somewhere that a lot of women spend most of their lives battling the ten pound monster. i don't want to be battling this for the rest of my life so i might as well do it now and commit to a life long love of health.

maybe i'll just work out a lot so i can eat badly.

complaints.

i'm a complainer. i have been since birth. eventually, i'll get up and get shit done but i will still bitch about it. i'm also always inside my head. when carrie bradshaw accused miranda hobbes of doing this, i realized that i might be a miranda hobbes.

every so often, i have really lame revelations. they go like this: "ohmygod, i've realized that i don't want to waste my life! i need to do something! i feel like i'm in a rut!" and nidhi is usually the person on the other line.

ever since i started this new blog, my old xanga has gone moldy and dusty. i feel like this is a fake blog for myself since i only choose to write about light things involving my hatred of the bachelor and how i am constantly shiny headed. while my xanga was old/shriveled/crusty/ancient, it was more real. even though everything i wrote was only about a sentence long, i felt as if it was me, the good/bad/sad/awkward.

so i don't want to be so one sided on this blog anymore. i don't want to only write about things that are light and amusing. so i won't. also, all this self doubt and feelings of inadequacy can kiss my (recently inspired by the movie, Tootsie) ass. i'll write more about this later. maybe.

meg cabot flavored rant.

i really love reading funny murder mystery books. you might be saying, how can a book be murder filled and be funny?

well, it mostly cannot. the books, my guilty pleasures, are cheesy as hell. they also have a weird culinary reference most of the time.

my favs are by nancy fairbanks and they center on a culinary writer who finds herself in the middle of food flavored murder scenes/crimes all the time! i guess i just love food so much that i must interject it into most aspects of my life. even those really embarrassing aspects.

anyways! when i was in middle school, girls used to read books by meg cabot all the time. so i decided to pick up a meg cabot book named "size 14 is not fat either". i only got to the second page before i couldn't handle anymore.

i'm used to really cheesy dialogue and cringing while avidly reading when i'm imbibing in these types of books but dayummmm meg cabot.

her character, former pop tart heather wells, was enduring the blistering cold blah blah blah. so she kept talking about how the grocery stores are closing up because of the cold and how there aren't any people on the street.

except drug dealers. she says "and still the drug dealers are out in full force...i guess that just goes to show that we americans still have a lot to learn from our hardworking immigrant population."

i had to keep reading this sentence over and over and i kept thinking "wait, what? is this racist? wtf ? WTF MEG CABOT, WRITER OF CHEESY TEEN NOVELS EVERYWHERE?"

and you know what, it totes is. maybe not racist per se but horribly offensive. but would it be racist? because i can assume that "immigrant population" is pointed at certain races obvi. so what meg cabot's trying to say is that americans should look up to immigrants because we're such intense drug dealers that we even work in the snow?

so i stopped reading her book. it might be perceived as a very small reason but i guess to me, i can't agree with her, however small, dig. by reading her book, i feel like i'd personally be doing just that.