ass.

i keep seeing this damn picture everywhere! and i'm mesmerized, obviously. also, i kind of want to throw up hahaha. it's been such a fun halloween weekend.

i don't know what to think about this.

so i'll try not to. i will fail horribly at this but that's okay.

also, what will i do now without limewire?

sometimes.

sometimes i'll be doing something at school (walking around campus listening to bad music, stalking people for parking spots or subtly dancing at work) and i think of things to write about in my blog. this blog.

but weirdly, i rarely get around to talking about what i want to talk about. i miss the obscurity of my xanga and it's my fault, really. i guess i'll push you back into obscurity, blog! so i can start to write about things on a personal level, however stupid and innane they may be.

i'll do it later.

swift.

i feel like i am trapped in a taylor swift song.

NOT EVEN IN A GOOD WAY.

it gets better.

it will get better, in reference to the recent wave of suicides in the LGBT community. there's this amazing project [http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject] where people can upload their stories and words of encouragement.

though i'm not gay, it doesn't matter because injustice hits all of us equally. throughout my 19 years, i've been so lucky to have amazing friends and family and yes, some of the closest people to me identify as homosexual. i love them just the same because to me, they're no different. it doesn't matter who you're attracted to or how "different" you might act because at the core, we're people and people deserve respect and understanding and love. it breaks my heart to see or hear about how people are bullied because of their sexual orientation or because of the lives they've decided to lead. so the message is that it gets better. it gets better because it has to.

this is not a message saying "toughen up and stop being so sensitive" as some people have said. this is a message that life is worth living, through all the shit that happens and through all the sadness. this is a message that no matter how incredibly lost and hopeless you feel, it will get better. you'll leave behind the assholes who dare condemn something you can't help or the choices you can help and choose to make. you'll find a community of people, gay or straight, who love you beyond words or actions. you'll find joy in the very thing that brought you such pain. however, it's for you to decide that you want to stick around for the good parts and i assure you that it will get better.

caught.

sometimes [right now] my procrastination kicks me in the ass. thus, i'm up at 3 am making a study guide for my midterm in approx. 9 hours. now i'm busying harping on how my life is so busy and full of shit that i have to struggle through.

okay, it's not. 21 hours of school doesn't feel too bad! i find it's harder for me to actually attend class but the workload isn't too intense. also, work? not intense either. i actually like my job though it's in basically a basement and i freeze to death every damn day.

anyways, if only i could stop procrastinating by watching jersey shore episodes or LOLing at arrested development or drinking too much grape juice and subsequently falling asleep on the sofa.

ugh! is it almost thanksgiving yet? i need to get my turkey on.

grievances.

i'm not saying it's the most important thing in my life or that it's of utmost importance, but if you feel the need to say something then own up to it and do it well. esp when someone else is depending on you.

if you find you can't do it, then own up to that too! instead of stringing me along while simultaneously flirting online. so yeah, i'm putting your ass on blast assuming you can figure out who you are. please don't dickride me and everybody else, then shit on your responsbilities. if you feel the need to do that, kindly jump off my nuts and we'll be done with it.

cupcakes.

i'm so sleepy all the time! damn my procrastination.

i feel like baking/decorating cupcakes. i have no reason to do this since i kind of dislike desserts.

NTS.

*note to self

before going outside for the day, check weather.com or else you will freeze your nuts off and look like that dummy who wore shorts and a cardigan. whilst this might be fetching upon other girls, not so fetching upon pale legged girls with saggy backpacks. furthermore, shave ya legz.

pulling a gwyneth paltrow.

in a text conversation about new names...

"Okay call me pineapple. No, papaya. I like it when you call me big papaya bahaha."

little things.

a lot of times, i find myself becoming gradually more negative. so i have to make a conscious effort to remind myself to stop being such a shit. while i definitely do not have everything in the world that i want, i have everything that i need. i feel like making a list so here's one of all the little things that (weirdly) have made my day lately:

-the obvious, my family.

-being able to finally wear cardigans without sweating out half my water weight.

-seeing the sunrise (or something) as i haul ass to school at 7 am.

-this walking windup pumpkin man that i got from the botanical gardens

-jersey shore thursdays.

-realizing that my car has a hook in case i ever decide to buy some truck nuts.

-the saltwater room by owl city.

-pomegranate season! i plan on spending the majority of my paycheck on them.

-new levels of angry birds.

-halloween! my favs holiday!